Random Rantings

It's been awhile since I have updated this blog. There have been many things I have thought about and have wanted to blog, but the line between intent and action has been faded these past few months.
Disclaimer: I love my friends dearly and in no way mean to offend them by commenting on remarks they have made. These are just my personal thoughts and should be regarded as such.
With that being said, while ago a friend posted this quote on her blog.
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~Edgar W. Howe

While I can understand the humor in the statement, mostly it just makes me sad. The idea that our children are somehow incapable of being with us for long periods of time without us resenting it is just incredibly sad. These are our children, who look to us for all of their needs.
There was a time once when children did not spend eight hours a day, five days a week, nine (sometimes ten) months out of the year away from the parents. I believe that those who lived during this period or have studied this period would agree that families were happier and that mothers did not feel they were being driven to the insane asylum by the mere fact that their children were present.
What has changed? I feel that we no longer have the same expectations for our children. We no longer discipline them when they fail to strive to meet these expectations. Thus, they are given free reign to exhibit behaviors that rattle our nerves. We blame it on their choices and actions, but is it not actually our fault for not having taught them proper behavior and restraint in the first place?
Another component is the fact that this day in age children are entertained. Outside factors entertain them for almost all of their waking hours, be it television, game systems, or other people. Few children in this day in age are able to entertain themselves for any extended period of time without help. Thus, they look to us to fill this need, by following the parents around, badgering the mom, hanging to her pant legs begging to be entertained. We expect them to entertain themselves but they have never been taught how, have never really had to before. When we removed television programming from our home and limited game systems to Friday evening and Saturday the first few weeks were very painful, for all of us. I heard "I am bored" so many times.... I finally told them that boredom is a great place to be in, because it is there that you have the ability to focus on what it is you really want to do. Months later there is a marked difference in my home. I have children that know how to occupy themselves without any direction from me. Sometimes it can get pretty scary as hours will go by and a child has not approached me for any guidance on what they can do. I have to remind myself that this is good.
The quote above implies that there is something wrong with our children and that we need to be "saved" from them by someone else. I would venture to assert that the something wrong actually lies within the parents.

On another friends blog she wrote about Spring Break and how wonderful it was to have this time to spend with her daughter. How they had the freedom to do all kinds of things that during a normal week there was not enough time to do. She then said she felt sad when Monday rolled around and her daughter was once again gone and "real life" began. Wow! Have we given the schools the power to determine for us what "real life" is? I think about the time I am free to spend with my children, no one is demanding them from me, scheduling our time making my family bow down to their desires. We control our schedule, which is as it should be. When my children are ill I comfort them, we spend days on the couch cuddled. There is no worry about if it is OK with the school, or presenting them with a DR.'s note to excuse them, wondering if they are missing too much work and will fall behind, hoping it doesn't hurt their attendance record, HELLO!!!! These children belong to us! They do not belong to the school and I can guarantee you that when your child leaves their building they will be forgotten. All the time, effort, spent on school "needs" only to have the relationship dissolve when they move schools or are no longer of school age. Think of how you could have spent that time.. With them, developing relationships, memories, life lessons, skills that may be important to you but are not being taught to your child because they are not important to others, going on vacation any time you want (Since you may be actually able to afford going by not going during summer or holiday break). How sad it must be to feel that your children are being taken from you, to feel that you have to curtail to the demands of people who care far less about your child than you... Why is this OK?