Celebrating Unification

We had an enrichment class this evening on making our homes "Christ Centered". It was an awesome meeting and I truly left feeling not only inspired to make changes but extremely proud of myself and my husband and family for the changes we have made. The first lesson was on the words and language you use within your home. How we speak to our spouses and children, the tone of our words and the lasting impact this leaves on them. Of course, I know and have known for sometime that this is something we need to work on. Our home is loud and I tend to blame it on the fact that first of all neither Matt nor I are very quiet people, add our four children to the mix and you can imagine. Latley I have come to see this as an excuse for being lazy and for not wanting to make the effort to change. I will work on this by setting the example myself.
The second class was on keeping evils and distracting things of the world out of our home. Here, is where I felt the pat-on-the-back was well deserved. The teacher gave statistics on the various effects of TV watching, internet surfing, and over-scheduling that our children are exposed to. When we moved last Nov. we took the "dramatic' step of not hooking up our TV. Yes, you heard me right, we have not had television programing in our home for almost a year! Do I regret it? Depends on if there is a reality show on. :) Just kidding. No, I really don't. There are times when I think it would be nice to watch some of my favorite shows. There are times when I am bored and it would be so much easier to occupy the void with tv than it would be to find something productive to do. But then I watch my children as they imaginate worlds and play for hours literally. Not with store bought toys or video games, but with eachother. My eleven year old still has an awesome imagination that her peers have lost a long time ago. This, I would not trade for the world. They read to eachother all the time, not because they are told to. They play, physically, running, jumping, gymnastics, etc........ We have great discussions all of the time. We have wonderful family meals where we are focused on eachother. There are moments when I consider getting programming, but then I watch my children and think,"would we be doing this if it was competing with TV? Many times, I think we would lose a lot, a lot more than it is worth....... Along the same lines, with Christmas coming up I hear a lot of my friends talking about what their children want and whether they should get it, whether they can afford it. Funny, I can't relate.....my children ask for so little. Maybe because they are not watching all of the commercials or going to a school where it is the fad to have the latest gadget. Are they missing out, nope, definetly not!!!
The last class talked about how society and the schools, etc, are now "celebrating individuality", Look at our world, do we really need more individuality? A majority of our children are lost trying to figure out their individuality. The teacher suggested that perhaps it was time to start celebrating unification. Our family is great at that!! We are extremely unified and much more comfortable, secure and happy for it. Anyone who has seen our children can tell right away how unified they are. Do not offer one something without the intent of offering it to their sibling also. I have seen times where they have refused the item because their siblings did not recieve one. It is common for one to come back with a small candy bar and share it with the other three meaning they each only get a tiny piece....... My eleven year old recieved some money from her Grandparents with a note telling her that they wanted her to spend the money on herself an not her siblings. They wanted her to enjoy something that was hers. What a dilema this brought to her young mind........ She eventually added the money to her brothers to buy a hamster for all four of them. She contibutes by far the largest part, never once mentioning this fact.
As far as over-scheduling, with four children I have learned that our family is sacred, our time is sacred and we only have a short time with our children to instill in them all that we want, to ensure that they are able to enjoy a childhood, to love them and be with them......There is not enough time to farm them out to other sources which may not be beneficial but rather just fill up time, or ensure our place among the popular, our standing among other parents. I have nothing to prove to other parents who think my children should be involved in some sort of "great" activity. I do have something to prove to my children..... Not that all the activities are bad or don't have something to offer but we have come to a point where we are no longer choosing between good and bad but rather between good and good. Yes, I pick and choose, yes I say no to things, to a lot of things actually. Yes, other parents sit and wonder at how I could choose not to allow my child to participate in such and such. It is a scary time to be a parent and far scarier still to take a stand for what you know is best for your children despite oppostion from those you trust or even respect.
Are my children in a plastic bubble? No, far from it, although secretly sometimes I do wish they existed. They are "socialized" they do participate in some activities, they are able to relate to others of all ages. Most impotantly they know their home is a safe haven and they feel secure, respected, encouraged and loved.. What more could I want for my children than that?